本文的目的是讓你更好地了解如何通過電子郵件與潛在客戶進行人際溝通。

文章從一些國外銷售代表那里抽取了一些真實的開發信，并請一些從業者進行點評。其目的是通過了解收件人的真實感受和點評，來幫助你在寫開發信的時候變得更有效。

在閱讀本文時的幾個提示：

• 由于這些開發信是外國人寫了發給外貿公司的，而且進行點評的人也是外國人，所以其中有些文化差異需要靈活理解
• 點評主要是集中于開發信的問題和不足，大家在看的時候應該理性看待。

專業評審團介紹

01 第一個開發信案例分享

Richard Harris 

Founder & Owner, The Harris Consulting Group

1st Paragraph is all about themselves, not about prospect. Your prospect rarely cares about you, your company, or what ranking you are. They only care if you can help them solve their problem as it relates to their role/company. Signature is much too big especially for mobile.

第1段都是關于自己，而不是關于潛在客戶。你的潛在客戶很少關心你，你的公司，或你是什么等級。他們只關心你是否能幫助他們解決他們的問題，因為這與他們的角色/公司有關。簽名占比太大了，尤其是對手機而言。

Ralph Barsi 

Sr. Director Sales Development, ServiceNow

When crafting emails, think in terms of texts or tweets.

Write short sentences and paragraphs. Whenever you include a URL, shorten it using TinyURL or bit.ly. You can also remove the “http://www” and just hyperlink the address. For example, if the URL is “http://www.link. com,” hyperlink “link.com” with the full URL. Avoid yes/no questions. They can paint you into a corner. “Do you have time to chat?” No. Now what?

在寫郵件時，以文本或微博的方式思考。

寫短句子和段落。每當你包含一個URL時，使用TinyURL或bit.ly縮短它。你也可以去掉 “http://www”，只用超鏈接地址。例如，如果URL是 “http://www.link. com”，則用完整的URL超鏈接 “link.com”。避免使用 “是/否 “的問題。它們會讓你陷入困境。如果你問”你有時間聊天嗎？” ，然后地方回答“沒有”，那里現在怎么辦？

Heather Morgan 

CEO, SalesFolk

The subject line is lame and generic.

The intro is very self-focused, and jam-packed with jargon and dull features. The email itself is too long and has bullets, which never perform well in cold emails.

主題詞很蹩腳，很一般。

前言非常自我關注，并且塞滿了專業術語和沉悶的功能。郵件本身太長，而且有列表，這在開發信郵件中的效果不好。

David Dulany 

Founder & CEO, Tenbound

This email is a classic shot in the dark. It shows no personalization or attempt to appeal to specific business issues. The first question I would ask is, does the recipient have anything to do with the vendor’s product? Are they the target persona? If not, don’t ruin your reputation with an email like this.

這封郵件是典型的暗箭傷人。它沒有顯示出任何個性化或試圖吸引特定的業務問題。我會問的第一個問題是，收件人與供應商的產品有什么關系嗎？他們是目標人物嗎？如果不是，就不要用這樣的郵件毀掉你的聲譽。

Jake Dunlap 

CEO, Skaled

Every good emails first sentence or second says “why me” to the receiver. Why should I as the opener give a shit and why did you send to me specifically? This could copy and paste to a million people.

每一封好的郵件第一句或第二句都會對收件人說 “為什么發給我”。作你為什么要專門發給我？這可以復制粘貼給一百萬人。

Blake Harber 

Director of Sales Development, LucidCharts

Be specific in your call to action. “Do you have 10 minutes on Friday?”

在你的行動呼吁中要具體，比如”你周五有10分鐘嗎？”

Liz Cain 

VP Go-to-Market, Openview Partners

There are 2 separate calls to action here (1. Advise on future projects and 2. a quick call). Avoid the yes/no and be more clear in your ask – why would your contact care to get on the phone with you?

這里有2個獨立的行動呼吁（1.對未來項目的建議和2.快速電話）。避免 “yes or no”的call to action，在你的問話中要更加明確為什么你的聯系人會在意和你通電話？

02 第二個開發信案例分享

Steven Broudy 

Head of Sales Development Americas, Mulesoft

The clear lack of quality research is painful. Five minutes exploring the Engagio Executive Team would lead an SDR to surface the fact that the founder came from Marketo, as did their VP of Sales and a number of other members of their team. This kind of “faux” research comes across as extremely disingenuous.

明顯缺乏高質量的研究是痛苦的。探究Engagio高管團隊五分鐘，就能讓一個SDR浮現出創始人來自Marketo，他們的銷售副總裁和其他一些團隊成員也是如此。這種虛假 的研究顯得極其不真實。

Richard Harris 

Founder & Owner, The Harris Consulting Group

Be relevant by focusing on the pains you solve. If you have use cases and case studies that match this individual, mention those when appropriate.

關注你解決的痛點，要有針對性。如果你有與此人相匹配的使用案例和案例研究，請在適當的時候提及。

Ralph Barsi 

Sr. Director Sales Development, ServiceNow

Your email must talk about me and no one else, unless I might know specific people or companies you mention. Otherwise, talk about me, my company, my customers, my marketplace, and more about me. The third sentence is comprised of 35 words. That’s enough words for an entire email. Busy executives can’t even give colleagues 20 minutes of time, let alone you. Add value and time will appear.

你的電子郵件必須談論我而不是其他人，除非我可能認識你提到的特定的人或公司。否則，要談論我，我的公司，我的客戶，我的市場，以及更多關于我的事情。第三句話由35個單詞組成，這足夠一整封郵件的字數。忙碌的高管連20分鐘的時間都不能給同事，更不用說你了。只有增加你提供的價值，時間和機會才會出現。

Ray Carroll 

VP of Sales, Engagio

Signing this as “to your success” on the sig when you are clearly trying to swap them off something is a little bush league.

在簽名處寫”祝你成功 “的字樣，而你明明是想把他們換掉什么東西，這就有點小題大做了。

Josh Hill 

Sr. Manager of Demand Generation, RingCentral

Generally, it’s a bad idea to knock competitors and other firms. Some people think creating FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) works (and sometimes it does), but to do so in a poor way is a good path to the trash bin.

一般來說，打擊競爭對手和其他公司是個壞主意。有些人認為制造FUD（恐懼、不確定、懷疑）是有效的（有時確實如此），但如果用不好的方式去做，就是被隨手丟到垃圾箱。

Heather Morgan 

CEO, SalesFolk

It’s really generic and doesn’t focus on a clear enough benefit or pain point, and so it’s confusing what the company wants or what the point of this call would actually be.

它真的很一般，沒有聚焦在一個足夠清晰的利益或痛點上，所以對公司想要的是東西是模糊的，或者說這個電話的意義到底會是什么。

Liz Cain 

VP Go-to-Market, Openview Partners

I can’t actually tell what this person is selling from the email. Assuming you are trying to replace Marketo, why bring up another competitor like Eloqua?

其實我無法從郵件中看出這個人在賣什么。假設你是想取代Marketo，為什么還要提出另一個競爭對手，比如Eloqua？

Nicolette Mullenix 

Director of Sales Development, DynamicSignal

This email talks about another company entirely rather. Your emails should tell a story about your customers and how people in my position from those companies benefit from your solution.

這封郵件完全是在談論另一家公司。你的郵件應該講述一個關于你客戶的故事，以及這些公司中處于我這個位置的人如何從你的解決方案中獲益。

03 第三個開發信案例分享

Ralph Barsi 

Sr. Director Sales Development, ServiceNow

The title “Director of Sales” implies that you understand how to prospect. Therefore, represent the title well. Don’t “come across” people and their businesses, as if you weren’t looking for them, but, “Hey, there they are!” Asking Jon at the end of the email if he’s the right person is YOUR responsibility, not his. Do a quick search on LinkedIn.

“銷售總監 “這個頭銜暗示著你懂得如何去做潛在客戶。因此要把這個頭銜表現好，所以你要去刻意搜尋客戶，而不是隨意地碰到客戶。在郵件末尾問Jon是否是合適的人，是你的責任，而不是他的責任，你可以在LinkedIn上快速搜索一下。

Ray Carroll 

VP of Sales, Engagio

If someone writes “plug and play” in an email to me it’s automate delete – too cliché.

如果有人在郵件中寫上 “即插即用”，對我來說就是直接刪除，太老套了。

Josh Hill 

Sr. Manager of Demand Generation, RingCentral

It’s a very sensitive issue for a firm. Most firms use Quicken or other tools and it’s pretty presumptuous to approach in this way.

對于一個公司來說，這是一個非常敏感的問題。大多數公司都使用Quicken或其他工具，以這種方式來處理是非常冒昧的。

Heather Morgan 

CEO, SalesFolk

This subject line is lame and boring, and this tactic has been used to death.

No one cares that you “did research,” and just saying that is not nearly the same as demonstrating it. The email is feature-focused rather than benefit driven, making it especially boring and weak. This email is like a Frankenstein of cheap and lazy email tactics.

這個主題詞很蹩腳，也很無聊，這種策略已經被用爛了。

沒有人關心你 “做了研究”，只說這句話和展示這句話是不一樣的。這封郵件以功能為中心，而不是以利益為導向，使它特別無聊和軟弱。這封郵件采用的是廉價和懶惰的郵件策略。

David Dulany 

Founder & CEO, Tenbound

Jon has nothing to do with this function, unless maybe he’s CEO of a two-person company. With a little more digging, the sender could have found that right person, who may be open to the message.

喬恩跟這個功能沒有任何關系，除非他可能是一家兩人公司的CEO。只要再挖掘一下，發件人就能找到那個合適的人，他可能會對這個消息持開放態度。

Blake Harber 

Director of Sales Development, LucidCharts

Are you really interested in learning more about each other? I’m never a big fan of the “cover up”. Call it how it is. Be specific as to what you really want.

你真的有興趣去多了解對方嗎？我向來不喜歡 “掩耳盜鈴”。具體地表達你真正想要的是什么。

Liz Cain 

VP Go-to-Market, Openview Partners

The opening line is weak and comes off as a bulk email. What research were you doing? What made you reach out to me?

開場白很弱，顯得像一封批量郵件。你在做什么研究？是什么讓你主動聯系我？

未完待續…（來源：紅板磚開發信）

以上內容屬作者個人觀點，不代表雨果網立場！本文經原作者授權轉載，轉載需經原作者授權同意。